Bullying ; The horrific monster

 Hello, 

I hope your day went on smoothly and fulfilling as you desired? 

Earlier today, I promised on my WhatsApp status that I have a surprise for you. 

Actually, it's something that has been bothering me for days and I think this is a good time to talk about it. Can you take a guess? 

... Well, it's on BULLYING! Yeah, bullying. 

You know schools (Primary and secondary schools I mean) are in the season of resumption for a new term in most states and the news of the late Sylvester Oromoni Jnr who was a JSS2 student of Dowen College is still very fresh in our memories. 

No matter what we say or decide on that matter, whether he was bullied or not, bullying is a deadly virus that ought to be thrashed out in our schools and in every sector where it rears its ugly head.

So, let's roll...

Taking a first leap, what in the world is bullying? Why is it such a dreadful, horrifying word that tingles the ears of its hearers? According to Oxford Advanced Learners Dictionary, 'Bullying is an act of intimidating a weaker person to do something, especially such repeated coercion. It also means persistent acts intended to make life unpleasant for another person. Hmm, so much scary terminologies for a scary terminology! Let's take it bit by bit. 

Intimidation! Persistent acts! Unpleasant life! Repeated coercion! 

All these terms don’t look appealing to me and I'm sure about you as well. Bringing all these terms together, I'll give my definition of bullying. To me, bullying is an act of intimidating through persistent acts of force in other to make someone else live an unpleasant life or bow to your bidding. And a person who bullies is a bully. Sounds like billy, you know Billy the goat; so a bully is a Billy, right?

Now that we have established what a bully is, let's look at the characteristics of a bully. How can you spot one and how can you know that someone is under the threat or influence of a bully? 

Firstly, a bully is a very arrogant and violent being. He always loves to have his way no matter what. He is not deterred by anything and wants things for himself by all means. 

Secondly, a bully always appears tough, rough and bossy. He wants to command respect and instill fear and chills in others. A bully listens to no opinion, all he desires is what brings others to succumb to his demands and tremble at his mere sight. 

Furthermore, a bully is indifferent and hard-hearted. Bullies tend to build a hardened heart over a period of time. They seem indifferent to the plight of others and even higher authorities. They are always unflinching about the consequences of their actions because to them, they are doing what brings pleasure to them and that's what matters most. They find hard pleasure in inflicting pain on others without blinking an eye. 

These and many more are the signs to watch out for when you suspect that someone is a bully. 

How about the victims of bullying, how do you identify them? 

Victimbull as I will call them are not easy to detect because of the high level of fear that has been instilled in them. They are the ones who mostly keep to themselves. They won't want to mix with others. They are suspiciously quiet and always withdrawn. 

Victimbulls are always filled with fear and any slight thing that instigates or erupts fear makes them tremble and fidget.

They are very submissive. Yeah! Victimbulls are very submissive for they seem to have lost a voice of their own. They easily accept other people's opinions without blinking an eye to avoid further confrontations. This means they easily give up because of the pressures that had been mounted on them beforehand. 

Victimbulls tend to lose weight, drop in appearance and can look unkempt in severe cases. They're mostly absent-minded. 

Oh! Poor souls. 

Please watch out for any of these signs in your siblings, friends or kids. They are silently dying inside and need someone to rescue them. 

Now, we've looked at who bullies are, how to spot them and their victims but one thing is what can make one or turn one into a bully? Hmm, there are lots of reasons and conditions capable of turning one into a bully. You wouldn't want to miss out on this, right? Join me once again tomorrow and let's dive deeper. 

Till then, be alert and sensitive. 

You can be a saviour to a victim! 

Cheerio!